That’s the question that is constantly overwhelming me at the moment.
I never wanted to do a uni course at all (basically because of being the undecided person I am, I wouldn’t be able to settle on just one). This was the thought process I had back in high school. Gap year it and then work out what the future had in store for me. Some how it was all just going to fall in place. That’s easier said then done!
Don’t get me wrong, taking the gap year straight after school was the best thing I’ve ever done. It’s extended through to three years, but I have achieved a great amount during those years, including a few international trips, a number of different work situations and getting to know who I am, who I’m becoming and where God is taking me. I would never have become the person I am now, if I didn’t take that huge three year break to work it out. I have the best friends ever who have all influenced me at some stage and the most wonderful, awesome God taking care of me and the opportunity to rely on him, no matter what life throws, the unsureness it brings and even if I don’t feel adult sometimes, he’s great to remind me that I won’t have it all together if I don’t once again rely 110% on him.
So here I am, currently twenty one (the actual time of adulthood might have arrived), and siting on the couch feeling like the world is getting smaller and smaller and I can do greater things all with the help of God, more than I could ever have three years ago. I love learning new things, which is somewhat puzzling but exciting, bringing me to question the university thing again. If this happened to be a thing, it would muddle up everything I’ve ever known, possibly a move of location, meeting new friends, and getting into the study routine and broke uni student life, which is totally okay. In fact it’s quite exciting. So there’s all that but then there’s the ‘life’s one huge adventure’ side of me that just want’s to keep working to fund many more exciting adventures and travel, more cultural experiences and learning more of what God has put on this earth though first hand experiences.
Last night we had Infusion (a monthly youth service, that is oh so much fun and such a wonderful time for the youth of the Barossa to come together and worship, open hearts and hear God). Hearing God. Hmm.. The leaders prayed before as per usual however with the help of an older, wiser leader we were taught in literally two minutes to trust what we hear from God. These were going to be the context of the prayer. For me it was an image, others got words, some weren’t sure and others were completely overwhelmed by the power of the Lord and just trusting in him. I didn’t realise how easy this was.. All this time I thought it was hard to hear from God, trying to tune into every possible thing I could to work it out. Little did I know God has been here the whole time. He’s in my head, the little voice that encourages, comes up with ideas, influences and lets me know when that was perhaps a bad idea. That’s God. He is always with me, always walking alongside everything I do and planning my future. Well he’s already planned it, I just have to go along for the ride. Leave it up to him and let him guide the path I take.
So that was a fun time and everything makes sense now! As if a light inside me just turned on! If this university thing works out, and it all flows smoothly with ease it’s the thing I’m going with. If for God’s reasoning it doesn’t that to is totally okay. It’s not my own ideas and what I want out of life, but in fact what God wants out of me. All reliability is going into Him and the outcome will be everything completely wonderful and amazing! Don’t stress it, Jesus has your back!
28 Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. 29 He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. 30 Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; 31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. – Isaiah 40:28-31